Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
