Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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