Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
