omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I am never drinking with the goths again.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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