oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
