Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
