I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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