where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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