nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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