she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Randomize
