So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
