It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
