just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
