I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
dude i'm inner monologue high
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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