thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
