I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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