im gay
i know
yea but for you.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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