Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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