hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Randomize
