new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i just had sex bonerless
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
