This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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