4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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