Duck Duck Cougar?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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