My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
