Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
