I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
