i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
