Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
