This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
