I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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