Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
My life is pants optional.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
