The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I think your dad took our porno
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
