is your mom at the bar?
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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