After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
