Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
