omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
