Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
