All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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