Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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