is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Jerry, you need to find god
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Randomize
