Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
