thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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