You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
