mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
