after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
