At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
