Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
