i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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