I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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