I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
