it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
