I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
